He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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