The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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