bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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