can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
