TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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