I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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