They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
