i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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