so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I will be naked everywhere
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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