the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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