The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
