Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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