if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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