My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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