I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
