Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
