He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
