She's JV to your varsity
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
