She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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