Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
