were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
