how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
