And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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