I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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