I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
