we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
