I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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