Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
