I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
