cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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