my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
