He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
