WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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