So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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