So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
