just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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