i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
