At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
