just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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