You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
