i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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