Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
