My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
