like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
