There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My penis needs a shock collar
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
