Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you win again, gameday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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