I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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