This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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