I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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