but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
