i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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