You work out of a Hotel?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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