you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
