Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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