it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
