remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
