when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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