is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
