Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
