come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The air was thick with penises
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
