put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
