So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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