They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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