And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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