Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize