Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
